Chuck Norris Facts

12 Apr

Just for fun, I thought everyone who was interested ( Steve, Yori) would like to post their favorite Chuck Norris facts. I’ll start if off.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris doesn’t use condoms. There is no protection against Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.

Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.


2 Responses to “Chuck Norris Facts”

  1. Steve Wednesday, May 9, 2007 at 9:38 am #

    Chuck Norris secretly plays Nintendo Wii .

    It’s true. Little know fact.


  2. Tobeinstyle Wednesday, August 3, 2011 at 1:54 am #

    When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down! ๐Ÿ™‚

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